friendly reminder taylor swift and adele are the same age and one of them is married and pregnant while the other is still mentally stuck in middle school
me: i'm just going to rest my eyes for 5 minutes.
me: wakes up march 27th, 2098.
thatsamexicanjoke asked: fishingboatproceeds. It's a tumblr url but fuckin tumblr wON'T LET ME PUT URLS IN ASKS NOW APPARENTLY. anyway, in case you haven't found it yet, there you go
HEY YOU! Yeah you! Go follow my friend Roger on Tumblr! :) I highly advise it, you won’t be disappointed! www.mythoughtsandmyperspective.tumblr.com DOOOOO IT!
whores: whores: Don’t cry because its over cry because you’re ugly
my final thought before making most decisions: fuck it
sext: fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles
dilclo: when she texts first <3
when you take your friend's phone and they try to...
Anonymous asked: Yo. Where in Texas do you live? I live in El Paso. It's the worst place in the world IMO.
Anonymous asked: WOW, I just lost a bunch of weight using the OFFICIAL TUMBLR DIET!! Are u using it as well?
Me: *sits in towel for 6 months after showering*
satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: glue a tiny mirror over your drivers license photo so when you hand it to the police they will get confused and arrest themselves instead
whorville: I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life
u-kill-me-in-a-good-way: violettesilence: jesuislegrandefromage: montypythonandtheholyblog: hotdamnope: kangiku: the 12 year olds on this website get really mad if you point out the fact that they’re 12 r u serious NOT EVERY 12 OLD GETS REALLY ANGRY jesues sometimes people are just so dumb ughh this is almost as fun as playing spot the vegan. Spot the vegan? Yeah…the vegan...
rnedia: drugs? no thanks, the only “high” i need is the natural rush you get from committing a murder.
ship-all-the-gay: so i was eating some of those sugary gross conversation hearts. (they were on for $1 at work) and I was reading them. they say like ‘cool’ and ‘ur cute’ and then suddenly I think the factory workers need help
slapmytitties: What if instead of having sirens ambulances just played move bitch get out the way by ludacris
metaphorically: i was crying in my car in front of the mcdonalds near my house eating french fries and listening to my sad playlist in the car and a black guy tapped on my window and just gave me life changing advice “its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it”
gooutfighting: now taking applications for my gang, please have your mum sign your permission slip and return it in by next wednesday
stilldefending: danieldempsey: My dude straight loving him some nsync. I DID NOT EXPECT THAT